10 tips to help you decide

1. I know that I will be better served in the long run if my spouse and children are also well served. I want my children to be in the center rather than in the middle.
2. I want to speak and act from my best self, even though sometimes my words and actions seem to come from my worst self.
3. I want my lawyer to be a wise counselor and an engaged moral agent rather than a hired gun and an alter ego.
4. I am willing to be in the same room with my spouse and to speak for myself and my own legitimate self-interest with the assistance of one or more collaborative professionals.
5. I am open to solutions that will respect both my and my spouse’s needs and interests.
6. I want to make decisions affecting the future of myself and my family from a place of calm, considered wisdom, rather than from a place of anger, humiliation and fear – even though I may be experiencing those hard feelings, now, and during the process of the divorce.
7. If it were possible, I would prefer a deeper resolution rather than a shallow peace.
8. I know that at times things may feel hard and uncomfortable, but I am willing to be with that discomfort and to persevere through the process.
9. I want to act ethically for myself, for my spouse and for the sake of my children.
10. After the divorce is completed, I want to be able to look back and feel good about the outcome and how I handled myself during the process.